Monday, November 12, 2007
THE MORNING HAUNTS ME
Just keep your eyes closed, I say to myself. Once you open your eyes, the day starts and you must be a responsible adult which is becoming harder and harder each day. The day haunts me. I look forward to the night where I can go to sleep. Sleep ususally lasts as long as the drug(s) in my system. Butterflies are so beautiful except when they live in your belly like a bevy of bats. I wake up to this fluttering feeling that slowly tickles me but in a tortous way on my one and only nerve. I wish the day away so it's night again. Before you know it, life is over. Is this all there is to life? No wonder I'm depressed.
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7 comments:
Laying in bed does sometimes seem like a good thing to do for the day. After a good 3 hours of fitful sleep, and knowing that whatever the day brings is going to cause more stress, the blankets and pillows are indeed very comfortable.
Do you just look at your stress just as an overwhelming collection of stresses, or do you separate it into stresses that you have control over, and stresses that you don't?
Hey Slowpoke,
Logically, I can tell you that stressors are to be divided into two categories; those that can be controlled and those that can be. Those that can't be controlled should be put in God's hands. Now, when I'm overwhelmed I can't discern what's what!
I can understand that. Playing whack a mole is fun if the little moles are just plastic critters that come in twos and threes until they give up. Doing the same with problems that don't give up and come in ever greater numbers is wearing.
I've found that living for a moment helps. There is only so much I'm going to do in a day and that is it. If it continues after a given time, it is a problem for the next day when I'm ready for it. Not every problem likes that, and they don't all go away with that, but it's on my terms.
If I have a project, I let the worries of that project push out all (or a lot of) the others. I can do something about the project worries. It almost doesn't matter what the project is, but if I choose it to address one of my big worries then I kill two birds with one stone.
Of course, my solutions won't work for you. they are just what I worked out. You are free to borrow the methods and make them your own. Working them and other methods into your life and philosophy is a more personal detail for you.
Of course, there are a lot of birds, a bunch of stones, and my arm is a tad tired...
When things get tough and overwhelming, I just remember a few special people in my life. Even if they aren't right here, the thought of them brightens my life immensely and helps me move along with the day.
I want to let you know that I appreciate you're responses. My way of dealing with the fast life is to sleep and when I sleep I can feel either A. rejuvinated or B. worse about things because I just sat on my ass and did nothing. It all depends on my mood. I feel like I sometimes have a chemical spill in my brain or it's bleeding although it's not a stroke. Maybe an electrical storm??? Not sure
Yes, sleeping is one way to handle depression, but it doesn't always solve the problems (though sometimes it does). I suppose a little guilt that you aren't fixing your world while you sleep can be a good thing. Use the guilt to your advantage.
Can you handle one problem at a pop? Don't face the whole world at once. Pick and choose which parts you deal with. Find one thing you can be a success at for the day. Just one. A little success in life breeds more success.
It can be a little thing, such as investigating the latest shops in town. It can be a big thing, such as repairing the car. Don't make it something you can't do. Resolving to win the billion dollar lottery by evening is tempting, but fraught with failure. You are permitted to daydream of what would happen if you did win it though.
I know what I would do if I won the billion dollar lottery. I'd pay off all my debts, help a few friends and family out, fix up my house, and then find some good to do with the money. Now, if I'd only buy a lottery ticket....
if i won the lottery, i would pay off my debts, put money aside for the future and give to charities. i've seen so many more unfortunate individuals. like St. Jude's says, give thanks to the healthy children in our lives, and give donations to those who are sick. they need it for research. i saw a segment on Channel 4's Today Show and it was gut wrenching. A little girl was diagnosed with a malignant rare brain tumor. After operating on her, it was suggested that she receive a grueling round of chemo. This chemo would be so harsh that it would ooze out of her skin and burn her if they didn't bathe her multiple times during the day. Her parents were not going to subject her to that. Without this treatment, she only had 6 months to live. Well with this grim diagnosis, they took her home and prayed for an answer. While on a carousel in the amusement park, her mom saw an advertisement for St. Judes Research Hospital (look for the hour glass). She felt that this was a sign! She called her husband and told him to call immediately. Well long story still long-this little girl is doing well and the cancer seems to be gone. THANK GOD!
I think it would be hard to have a legacy greater than that of Danny Thomas. On the screen, he lightened our hearts. By his lifelong dedication to St. Jude's, he has saved countless lives and families.
It is better to do good than to do well.
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